Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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