Fuck appropriateness.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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