I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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