Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
