She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
