We should be called the Road Head Warriors
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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