I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
