so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize