i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
