lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
