we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
