Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
