I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
