you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
