she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
