I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
