No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
