somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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