She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
