just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
