She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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