Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
