Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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