ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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