please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
