guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
