We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Drunk is not a location!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize