So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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