"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
