Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
