i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
