u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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