I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize