Sry I called you an 8
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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