dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
