Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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