Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize