I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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