i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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