apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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