apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
