At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
