I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
