On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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