Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
