before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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