Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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