I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
