Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
