There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
