Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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