He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
