just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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