Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
