Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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