Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
