you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
